“I’m getting old and I still haven’t done (insert dream here)”
Who told you that your 20s are your only glory years ? No one? So you made up this silly rule all by yourself? Okay, glad we got that out of the way.
So often I hear people say things like:
I’m 27 and I feel unaccomplished.
I’m 29 and I’m still single.
I thought I would have done more by 25.
My age mates became millionaires at 23 and here I still am.
When did we start capping our growth and capabilities according to our age?
One of the most stifling things we can do is not give ourselves time over every decade and period of our life to achieve something new and grow a little more. Many of us talk about age like it’s the plague. We see responsibility but do we take the time to see the reward? Turning 30 doesn’t mean you now have to settle or change your standard. For example, as we get older we see more and more couples getting married and what do we do? We compare. We compare without taking the time to ask ourselves if that is even something we want. It’s hard to realise let alone admit that we may be jealous over certain attributes of peoples lives. You may not be jealous about someone’s partner but you may be jealous that they aren’t single. We can often get confused about why our emotions are making us act up but we have to ask ourselves why.
Go deeper with the questions you ask yourself. Why does getting older make you feel anxious? What does turning a particular age mean for you? What you make of the periods of your life are truly up to you, define it for yourself. And when it doesn’t go to plan, re-define it in a way that supports your goals and progress rather than letting it diminish all that you have done so far.
For me personally, I’ve never minded ageing. I actually love the concept of getting older because it means I’m growing, I’m learning and I’m wiser as a result. Of course there are some people who are much older than you and me and they haven’t grown up at all but that may be because whilst they grow in age, they forget to nurture their mentality to grow alongside with them. At every age, elevate your mental in some way or form. Do not count yourself out of your own process by acknowledging comfortability where there is potential growth and enabling yourself to stay there. Grow for you. Grow for your future and grow for the person you’ve always told yourself you can be. And in looking forward, learn to see the good in your experiences and look at how they’ve made you better, stronger and a little richer. Appreciate what you do know and make space for what you don’t know. We make space for growth by having gratitude for what we’ve already planted and learned from our past seeds. Extend grace to yourself and your dreams by giving them acccess to the abundance of your life span instead of just one period aka your 20s.
One thing I’m very grateful for with getting older is the certainty that comes with age. I remember being younger and feeling so indecisiveness about what I felt were important life decisions. As I get older I feel more confident in my decision making process, even if it’s considered the unpopular one. I trust my gut and I also trust that I will learn and succeed. I also accept that whilst I make mistakes on my journey I can never forget that I am not the result of my mistakes but the result of the lessons I have learned from them. The lessons I live for in life are the ones that make us grow and enable us to take accountability within ourselves.
Setting yourself new rules
“I’ve always done it that way.” is an incredibly easy answer. We are the result of our habits and habitual thinking. A hard answer is identifying why you have stuck with certain rules. Throughout our lives our rules are going to change and we have to allow room for that in order to get to who we are truly trying to become. None of us are 100% perfect and we have to know there is always room for improvement.
Don’t give up on certain dreams because it’s taking longer than anticipated. Enjoy the small parts because if you’re consistent enough you’ll see how it impacts you in a major way.