I’m back again to give you some words of encouragement as wedding season approaches us (it already has in all honesty).
One of the greatest feelings of love is seeing the ones you care about getting married. You can feel nothing but happiness and joy for them, but in between smiles a hidden conundrum comes into your mind and you may find yourself thinking, “When will it be my turn?” And while society and cultural backgrounds have perpetuated this need for us to have a big ceremony, we all too are human and we all too would like someone to love. Money and power can be great in the right formats but it should never be misunderstood, love supersedes all of these things. Maybe you’re reading this and you’re single, maybe you’re reading this and you have a partner. I hope you enjoy this post and if you do, please share it on.
I sometimes look at myself and think that I am such a catch. You may feel the same about yourself. You’re kind, you’re beautiful, you’re intelligent and you have good morals and all these attributes make you wonder why you are still single. It’s hard when you feel you’ve got all your shit together as a person and there’s no partner to be a reflection of your representation. In contrast, even when we know we’re not ready for a relationship, emotions defy our logic and we can feel deserving of a relationship based on our character alone. Then when we decide to give it a go and start to date it can feel like slim pickings out there. We try to keep the faith but we start to question if the person we imagined as our marital partner is even out there. Sidenote: I don’t have all the answers and I don’t claim to but I will speak on what I know and what I feel.
Do Not Settle
In the midst of waiting for your husband, do not settle for someone you know isn’t just that. You’ll know he’s not the guy for you when you find yourself trying to rationalise too many things about him to the ones you love. Who are you trying to convince? The man that is right for you will not need any rationalisation. So when you find yourself lonely but feeling sexy, feeling like you want to give it all to the right person, remember just that, you need to give it all to the right person. Savour it, save it for the one who deserves the greatness that is you.
If you’re in a relationship and you wonder where it’s going, there are two important factors to consider and that is character and timing. There’s a difference between timing and people’s character. For example, a man who is trying to find his feet may suffer from the factor of timing however if he isn’t active in his ambition then that’s a character flaw. You have to use discernment to see the difference between character and the timing of a man’s life. If you do see that the issue seems to be based more on their character then you either need to accept those characteristics or think about potentially moving on because, in the end, you will only resent yourself for not picking the choice that makes you happy. The future we are building goes beyond our 20s & 30s so pick a future that you want forever.
Let go of the men who hurt you, let go of the boys who hurt you & believe there’s a difference between the two. The men teach you lessons and the boys were a lesson you’d much rather forget. Take the time to reflect on how you can elevate from being let down by the expectations you had. Do you when you’ll know you’ve let go? When you can speak about them without cursing them under your breath when you wish them all the best with someone else while being glad that that person is not you. Let go of ill feelings, heal yourself instead. Also, let go of the feeling like you may have made a mistake about letting someone go just because you see how bleak the choices are out here. This is a real fear many of us have but we have to be honest about what we truly want and sometimes what we want is only ahead and not behind.
The power in prayer & affirmations
The power in prayer and in affirmations are real. When we really want that job we remember how real affirmations and prayers are. So when it comes to who we will end up with we have to still believe those work. We have to keep praying and we have to keep affirming that what we deserve what we desire in a life partner. Sometimes we pray and then we open our eyes to the world and forget what we have prayed for. We mustn’t forget the power that is above this world so don’t put your faith solely on what you see.
Glow up for yourself, not your ex and not only for your next but for you. Remember you? How many times have you come last by putting someone else first? Rise up for yourself and not for the validation of others because we will never be satisfied if we don’t value ourselves first. When you look in the mirror, I wonder if you see the wonderment in you, the worthiness in you. I hope you do.
Friends of the opposite sex
Being great friends with the opposite sex does not mean they will make a great partner. Do not confuse this and lose a great friend in the process of you thinking you should be more if there is no mutual connection around the matter of taking things passed the level of friendship you already have.
Don’t let a man get you by default. “It just happened.” The type of woman I am requires you to have to work for me and I too will put in work for the one I see a future with. One of my last posts, I entitled, ‘Am I a wife?’. I can now say with confidence I most certainly am.