AM I A WIFE?

This title is either a bit premature or right on time. I’m going to swallow my fear and say it’s right on time. 

For a long time, I’ve been scared. You’re probably thinking, yeah right! But seriously I have been scared to do a lot of things. This came as a result of questioning how desirable I would look as a potential wife in light of the things I wanted to try. And I’m not talking about hopping onto Instagram in my underwear. I don’t mean that. I mean being bold and saying things that aren’t deemed as socially acceptable or doing things that are out of the box. I’ve been afraid for a long time to not really upset anybody that when you try so hard to not upset anybody you end up upsetting yourself in the process. Everybody has their own ideologies that are probably going to end up offending someone, does that mean we shouldn’t live our own truth? No. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ambition has forever been a dirty word when it comes to women. If there’s no male involved, tradition asks, “Where’s her husband?” If there is a man involved it’s, “How does he cope?” as if to say being the boss of your life automatically makes you bossy and or unbearable. But I think there’s a strong correlation between being ambitious and being fearless.

I’m learning not to hide any part of me. Not to put my dreams away in order to fit in with the stereotype of what a wife should be but I’m learning that the right man will love me for who I am. In turn, I hope that’s something you learn about yourself too. I hope you learn that you are worthy of your dreams both as a business woman and a woman who wants to eventually settle down. I know that it can feel like time is going and everything should be coming together but it will trust that. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I’ve heard of young women who have put away their dreams for their relationship when there’s been no promise* of their future together. “She gave up that job in Dubai for her relationship.” I can’t lie, hearing this upsets me greatly. 

*promise is a fishy word I know but you get what I mean. 

I think when we compromise ourselves too much for a relationship, we lose a bit our magic. When we question ourselves in light of what we think a man wants us to be, again, we lose a bit our magic. Your magic is gained, restored and renewed from being yourself. From allowing yourself to be quirky, to be awkward, to dress a bit differently, to have that funny laugh and to just be your absolute best self. Your magic is at its highest when you choose not to compare your magic to that of another woman’s because she has someone in her life and because it looks like she fits a certain image of a what a woman should be. Your magic has no age, it has no limit & it’s always there. The only time it truly goes missing is when you decide to be anybody else but yourself. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

As women, to nurture is of our nature and I think at certain times we have to learn selfishness for our own good. Don’t expel your desires to accommodate everyone else’s only to find that you have no place to live.

Continue to be the purest form of yourself and know that that is truly enough. Evolve without approval. With that being said, a little while ago I wrote a poem called Am I A Wife? It’s a representation of questioning whether or not I am worthy of being a wife then realising that I am. 

Am I A Wife?

Am I a wife?

Am I too much this or that?

Am I too quiet or too loud?

Am I too shy or too proud?

Am I a wife?
Am I bearing too much flesh?

Am I too mentally in depth?

Am I too often at my desk?

Am I a wife?
Am I too much of a believer?

Am I too much of an overachiever?

To be taken for life

Am I a wife?
Am I way too social?

Am I way too vocal?

To be seen in that light.

Am I a wife?
Should I dream of doing dishes?

Should I dream of plenty kisses?

Should I not think about a future potential mistress?

Am I a wife?
Should I breathe with all my lungs?

The yearning to speak your mother tongue.

And hope I can call your mother mum

Am I a wife?
Should I wear my hair in its natural state

Should I take on the relaxer weight

To be desired by you?

Am I a wife yet?
Should I listen to my aunt’s cries?

As another year flies by

While she wonders why oh why

Is she not a wife yet?
Should I read Proverbs 31

And ask God, “Lord when will he come?”

Should I wake up and run

Because I am not a wife yet?
No.
I am not a wife yet.

But I do have a life yes.

And in that life, many purposes will be fulfilled.

So instead of being filled with worry

And experiencing many feelings of being sorry

Be still and know that one day, what He desires

Will be required

For my life.

 

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